Water… Water… I Need Water.
Dear Sewage & Water Board,
As a long-time New Orleans resident, I’ve become sadly adapted to the results of political and civic incompetence. High crime, pothole-lined roads, malfunctioning stoplights, the usual. I realized some time ago that this city is run by the same 1000 monkey that, supposedly, can hammer out the works of Shakespeare if you leave them alone with typewriters.
But you, S&WB, have always been a particularly foul mark on the city. You’ve always been known for high rates, bad customer service and undrinkable water. It is no wonder that Kentwood bottles its water here, there are so many locals desperate for real water, they can make bank just reminding us what real H20 tastes like.
But today you broke new ground. Today you provided service so bad, so awful, that I actually WISHED I had access to your dirty-tasting water. That’s right, you disconnected my water. Why? Because of a stupid form.
No warning, No call. Not even a knock to let me know they’re turning it off. Just a dishwasher sounding like a cat had crawled in it.
So, if you have a moment, I’d like to tell my story and I hope you will listen to it and learn from it…
The Tale
The one hiccup was the water. Our landlord, who could be infinitely wise one moment and equally stupid the next, did not put two water meters on the house. That wasn’t a major deal since the other side was unoccupied, used only for storage, and thus never needed water. She did, however, provide two electric and gas meters and that prevented the issue from coming up.
However, when we went to move and have the water transferred back to her, there was confusion on your end due to the two addresses and we couldn’t simply transfer our service. We were told we’d have to pay a new connect fee, $75, and that the other issues would have to be sorted out with the landlord.
We paid the fee, begrudgingly, got water hooked up at our new home and everything seemed to be going fine. For nearly three months now we’ve been living there, resting assured that everything was straightened out with our landlord.
Then today comes, I’m sitting in my office having just loaded up the dishwasher when I hear a horrible screeching noise. The noise is so loud that, at first, I think it’s an issue with one of my CPUs. However, when I track it down, I realize that the dishwasher is screeching like a Yoko Ono concert.
I stopped it immediately and investigated. There were no visible issues, nothing tangling up the jets and nothing out of the ordinary so I removed a few items and turned it back on. The same noise. I stop it again and resolve to call a repairman later. I then turn to wash my hands, soiled while moving the dirty dishes and then, only then, did I learn what had happened.
After swapping a few calls with my wife, we realize that we’re paid in full on the account and there was no reason to be disconnected, She calls you guys and you inform her that you don’t have our application on file.
After a few faxes back and forth between you and my wife and a few more hours of waiting, the water comes back on at my house, after nearly six hours of being off.
My Problem
There are several things about this that bother me, let’s go over them in order:
- We Had Service in the First Place: If you didn’t have our application on file, how did we have service in the first place? If the stupid form is required to get water, why have we had water for damn near three months?
- We Were Paid in Full: Our account had no outstanding debts, no overdue notices, not even a late fee. You cut our water off for a piece of paper that wasn’t even green. That’s pretty cruel considering how essential water is.
- I Work From Home: Usually being without water for six hours during the day wouldn’t be a big deal, but I work from home. That means I use the bathroom here. I’d like to see how you like your office if you couldn’t flush the toilet for most of the day.
- There Was No Warning: You could have called us, you could have warned us, you could have slipped a damn note in one of the two bills we’ve paid since the move. You did none of those things. We were oblivious we were even missing a form. The least you could have done is had Larry, Darryl or Darryl knock on my door before they came on to my property to disable my water. It’s kind of a nice thing to do when you’re on someone else’s land.
- Potential Damage: Fortunately, everything is working, but cutting off water like that do some serious damage to a home. It could have burned out a pump on the dishwasher, damaged the icemaker or anything else that depends on water. Other than my water heater taking its sweet time heating back up, everything seems to be ok for now. But just imagine the level of pissed off I’d be if something had broken.
Did we make a mistake? Sure. But was it one that warranted cutting off our water like a thief in the night? Not a chance in Hell. There is no excuse for this kind of overreaction and, quite frankly, I’d like to see you come up with one.
Conclusions
Right now, I have half a mind to get a shovel and start digging a well. Fortunately, I live in New Orleans so I won’t have to go that far to hit water. I could probably hit it this evening if I started now.
But honestly, this isn’t my first run-in with you guys. It took you two weeks to fix a water main break underneath my old street and your “repair” caused a sinkhole in the middle of the road that damaged more than a few cars as they drove over it, mistaking it for just another New Orleans pothole.
With this kind of incompetence, you’re luck you aren’t being sued by damn near ever resident in the city. We’ll do it too. Just look at what’ the Corps of Engineers is going through right now and ask yourself if you really want to piss off this town.
We’re angry and overrun with lawyers who will be looking for a new target after the August deadline passes.
Here’s a hint, Cover your ass…
Sincerely,
John Black
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