Falling Out of Love With Linux
Dear Linux,
I love you, or rather, I used to love you. However, lately I’ve been having an affair.
You knew that I’d been keeping Windows around, He’s like my drinking buddy. He plays all my games and we like to hang out on the weekends. It was never a “love” thing between us, just a way to escape. Besides, he’s one of the guys.
But no, lately I’ve had a new fling. I met Mac.
Actually, we’re old friends, I knew her all the way as a baby Apple II and we practically grew up together. She’s always been dependable, stable and competent, but she also grew up into something quite beautiful. We started dating a few months ago and, well, it’s getting serious between us.
Sure, she’s not perfect and I can’t say if I really love her or not, but we have to face it, things aren’t the same between us anymore and, well, she and I have been enjoying each other’s company a lot more these days.
Still, I am a gentleman and, as such, I have to be honest with you. Perhaps you can grow from this and, perhaps, some day, we can get back together again.
But first you have to listen to me.
When the Problems Began
I refused believe it was your fault, I just couldn’t bring myself to that. I ordered a new CPU fan off the Web and waited for it to arrive. After I installed it, I encountered the same problems again. I then researched more and learned that you had updated your ACPI and, for whatever reason, it wasn’t working with my motherboard right then.
I then struggled to disable ACPI. Booting up the system and rushing to edit the needed files before it came crashing down again. I eventually got it to work, but only after wasting several hours and a few cans of compressed air trying to keep the CPU cool.
But when I got you back up, I have to admit that the love wasn’t there. I’d already been using Windows while you were down and seeing you again didn’t bring much joy to my heart. The truth is, things were already changing between us and I think we both knew that.
You nearly destroying my computer, well, that was just the final straw.
What I Hate About You
We had been together over three years that fateful day. I admit, I hadn’t paid you enough attention. Windows got all of the new hardware, the best RAM upgrades and the most powerful video cards. It was the gaming PC, it needed them.
You got hand-me downs but you always had a respectable home and still do, even today. But yet, in the time that I’ve known you, you’ve become so slow, it is as if you drag your feet with every step.
I didn’t matter if I was opening mail, viewing Web pages, chatting on IM or something else altogether, you were always a step behind. You just couldn’t keep up with me.
Sure, I loved the fact that I could change you into whatever I wanted, it gave me a kinky thrill like when my wife wears a wig to bed, but it did me no good. Whenever I made you pretty, relatively speaking, you moved slow. If I made you ugly, you moved faster but it still felt sluggish.
They talk about how you can live anywhere but even with a decent processor, over a gig of ram and a good video card, it still felt like you were moving through water.
I couldn’t deal with it, so I developed a wondering eye and decided to have a fling. I called up my old girlfriend and gave her a try. It was an expensive date, but I think something great may have come out of it.
There may not be wedding bells in our future, but I already gave her your parking spot.
Hard Questions
I’ve had a chance these past few weeks to try you both side by side using my KVM switch and. I have to say, it doesn’t look good for you.
On paper, you have the better computer. A faster processor, twice the memory, a better video card, etc. However, switching back and forth, the Mac just moves so much more smoothly. It responds to my touch, listens to what I have to say and moves when I tell it to.
On the other hand, you seem to have a mind of your own.
I don’t know where you are half of the time, what you’re working on or where your brain is going. Every time I’ve updated you I’ve watched your performance drop a bit while new problems crop up and my experience get just a little bit worse.
I liked you bettwen when you were Mandrake 8. But now, after seven upgrades and three distro changes, you’re Kubuntu 7 and I don’t recognize you at all. You used to be peppy and light, now you’re just sluggish and difficult to work with.
With every upgrade you talked about “performance improvements” and, like a fool, I believed you every time only to watch more seconds of my life tick away with the spinning hourglass. It was a brutal string of heartbreaks and I’m not falling for it again.
No, this Mac, with its inferior specs and modern decor can run rings around you dear Linux. It has obliterated you at every turn. I just can’t deny it anymore, she’s better than you.
She’s more stable, faster, easier to use, and better supported. Yes, she’s not cheap like you and I miss a lot of your software and I really loved your application install system, but I can’t overlook your shortcommings, no matter how cool it is to love you.
So Long… But Not Goodbye
Our relationship is over now Linux. Mac is my main squeeze now. It handles all of my work and even some of my play. However, I’ll still visit you, see how you’re doing, stop by to feed the plants, etc. However, until you make a change for the better, I have to take my workload elsewhere.
I want to love you. I almost need to love you. But I can not turn a blind eye to what you’ve become. You’re a monster. A gloated pig. The enterprise developers have corrupted you, bent you to their will and made your presense on my desktop nothing but a rarity.
I wish it didn’t have to be this way. I hope that I can take you back some day.
But right now, it is best that we stay apart. I want to remember you for what you were, for the good times we had, not for what you’ve become.
I just hope that you’ll remember me as fondly as I remember you.
Sincerely,
John Black
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